Here I have a chance to reframe my story, this time, being told by my soul, the Alchemist's soul. Even though I can now understand much of what I've already lived, I feel joy in thinking that life will continue to reveal to me the mysteries of my soul and that I will be open both to receive them and to come back here and rewrite whatever is necessary.
Before I created the first porcelain doll and also my first articulated doll (Monah) I loved fairies even without understanding much about them and without connecting them as deeply to nature as I do today. Even so, I already created small sculptures of fairies. The process of creating a porcelain doll was of great internal development and happened at the same time that life was teaching me the greatest lesson of all in a woman's life: being a mother. I learned to deal with anxiety and all the adversities of these two worlds: creating a doll and creating a real person. I taught myself two very complex arts. It was a long process until a mother was born and the first doll was born: dedicating myself to the son during the day and to art during the dawn. And so when the first porcelain doll was finally born I named her Monah which comes after the Monarch butterfly.
At that time I believed that the butterfly and its great transformation symbolized only my process as an artist, the essence I felt in the dolls, thus Doll Essence was born. I didn't know that it was actually much more than that, everything that happened was already a reflection of my soul, which didn't get tired of trying to wake me up, but being on the autopilot of life I could never hear it.
I continued creating many porcelain dolls, receiving awards for them, enchanting many people with my work while hearing everyone around sayin it was a “gift of God”.
Around the year 2016, after the arrival of my second child, my life seemed perfect from the outside, but inside it was as if at any moment I was going to fall and sink forever. I walked a tightrope. There was no reason, I thought, but I just couldn't see the color in life, even though I still created beautiful dolls.
So finally I asked the question that changed everything: “What else is there in this life? Is it possible that life is just that, living on autopilot?” Everything started changing when I made the decision to find out what was beyond that automatic system. I found someone who lived hidden under a great layer of fear and complexes, I found myself.
It was during this profound process of self-discovery that I created Monah Soul. Without understanding it right, my soul was already expressing itself, I was already resignifying my story with the dolls, recreating the first doll and already representing something that I would become there in the near future - The Alchemist. I grew so much inside, I transformed myself as much as Monah Soul itself and when I realized it, I was completing my training, receiving my Alchemist degree and even helping people to find their true essence. This is how I understand it today: when I created the Monah Soul, it was my Alchemist soul expressing itself.
I understand and accept now that I chose art as a job because it is a skill that I bring from many lives and is practically a natural skill.
But my soul has chosen to be an Alchemist - to work with nature and help people who wish to know more about life. And that is a challenge, because it is what I came to develop in this life.
At times I felt torn between the two, giving rise to conflict and a fear of having to choose between them. But it is in the union of both that my true essence is found and that is what I aim to do from now on. I don't need and I won't reject either of those two things, on the contrary, I'll be integrating them more and more, allowing this alchemical fusion to happen not only inside me, but also outside, expressing itself each day more and more through my art.
To my dear collectors all over the world: It doesn't mean the end of Doll Essence by any means. But it means honoring the real essence of my story. Honoring the nature present in the porcelain and inside myself which brought me to my heart path.
I'm excited for everything to come. I'm open to the new. Open to the life of my soul. And if you wish to follow me, or continue to follow me, in my entire essence or only in my art, you are very welcome, always!
namaste,
Tatiana Tofaneto
Before I created the first porcelain doll and also my first articulated doll (Monah) I loved fairies even without understanding much about them and without connecting them as deeply to nature as I do today. Even so, I already created small sculptures of fairies. The process of creating a porcelain doll was of great internal development and happened at the same time that life was teaching me the greatest lesson of all in a woman's life: being a mother. I learned to deal with anxiety and all the adversities of these two worlds: creating a doll and creating a real person. I taught myself two very complex arts. It was a long process until a mother was born and the first doll was born: dedicating myself to the son during the day and to art during the dawn. And so when the first porcelain doll was finally born I named her Monah which comes after the Monarch butterfly.
At that time I believed that the butterfly and its great transformation symbolized only my process as an artist, the essence I felt in the dolls, thus Doll Essence was born. I didn't know that it was actually much more than that, everything that happened was already a reflection of my soul, which didn't get tired of trying to wake me up, but being on the autopilot of life I could never hear it.
I continued creating many porcelain dolls, receiving awards for them, enchanting many people with my work while hearing everyone around sayin it was a “gift of God”.
Around the year 2016, after the arrival of my second child, my life seemed perfect from the outside, but inside it was as if at any moment I was going to fall and sink forever. I walked a tightrope. There was no reason, I thought, but I just couldn't see the color in life, even though I still created beautiful dolls.
So finally I asked the question that changed everything: “What else is there in this life? Is it possible that life is just that, living on autopilot?” Everything started changing when I made the decision to find out what was beyond that automatic system. I found someone who lived hidden under a great layer of fear and complexes, I found myself.
It was during this profound process of self-discovery that I created Monah Soul. Without understanding it right, my soul was already expressing itself, I was already resignifying my story with the dolls, recreating the first doll and already representing something that I would become there in the near future - The Alchemist. I grew so much inside, I transformed myself as much as Monah Soul itself and when I realized it, I was completing my training, receiving my Alchemist degree and even helping people to find their true essence. This is how I understand it today: when I created the Monah Soul, it was my Alchemist soul expressing itself.
I understand and accept now that I chose art as a job because it is a skill that I bring from many lives and is practically a natural skill.
But my soul has chosen to be an Alchemist - to work with nature and help people who wish to know more about life. And that is a challenge, because it is what I came to develop in this life.
At times I felt torn between the two, giving rise to conflict and a fear of having to choose between them. But it is in the union of both that my true essence is found and that is what I aim to do from now on. I don't need and I won't reject either of those two things, on the contrary, I'll be integrating them more and more, allowing this alchemical fusion to happen not only inside me, but also outside, expressing itself each day more and more through my art.
To my dear collectors all over the world: It doesn't mean the end of Doll Essence by any means. But it means honoring the real essence of my story. Honoring the nature present in the porcelain and inside myself which brought me to my heart path.
I'm excited for everything to come. I'm open to the new. Open to the life of my soul. And if you wish to follow me, or continue to follow me, in my entire essence or only in my art, you are very welcome, always!
namaste,
Tatiana Tofaneto